Award winning poem of the past

I need to share this so that it will never get lost again. I wrote this in 2003, senior in high school. I submitted it in 2007 to my college literary magazine. It was accepted and then won first place. I was asked to read it in front of an audience. While I don't write anymore, I still think back on this accomplishment and remember how honored I felt and felt deserving of it (rather than those poetry contests where everyone wins and you're like 'serious? I submitted that ironically'). People I showed it to said that I was brave for writing this and brave for reading this and I'm definitely glad I did. So here is my poem.

Deeper

I am from a childhood caught on tape
bathing, giggling, teething.
I am from a Stater Brother's backyard
combing a dolls hair on the kitchen floor.
I am from the yellow brick road
and Pee-Wee's word-of-the-day.
I am from sitting at the kitchen counter
after three hours and cold pea soup.
I am from singing and laughing,
from tickling and smiling.
I am from one to another.
I am from church;
God's palm in one hand, junior bible in the other.
I am from Christmas Eve afternoon: step-dad's family.
I am from Christmas Eve night: Mom's family.
I am from Christmas morning: our house.
I am from Christmas afternoon: Daddy's house.
It's enough to break a child.
I am from watching children's hands
bloom red under and angry ruler.
It's enough to break a child.
I am from stories of overturned cars,
just one I cared for.
I am from stories told different ways
blaming different people.
It's enough to break a child.
I am from the loss of the only one I had.
It's enough to break anyone.
I am from salty pillowcases and troubled nights.
I am from wrong being right being wrong
Which always was.
I am from secrets, shhh, secrets.
It's enought to break a child.
I am from "I love you"
I am from "I love you" and I don't believe it anymore.
It's enough to break a child.
I am from anger around me where
I place myself.
I am from nightmare's of enjoyed rape
and awaken with the urge to empty my stomach in the toilet.
It's enough to break a child.
I am from somewhere you can't go
because I built it and stay there, in here.
It's enough to break a child.
I am from a mother who thinks she understands
because she found the secret.
I hate it.
It's enough to break a child.
They scream, they yell, they cuss, I cry
to myself. "Don't you dare let them see."
It's enough to break a child.
I am from breaking so many times,
yet the pieces will not fall. They sit,
hang, pull, but will not fall.
It's enough to break a child.
Broken would be better than this place I've trapped myself.
Just a child.
(3.17.03)