Moving on the upward

Listening to: Pandora (Silverchair Radio)

I was able to turn last night's shitty situation (being locked out of the house) into a productive one when I started work on a resume I said I'd do last week. High five me. I think I've come to the conclusion that even if the Facts (co. I work for) became less disorganized and screwy than it is now with all this power change, I should still go. I've constantly complained that I should be getting paid more than I currently do and it was always the love and pride in my job and the people I worked with that kept me from actually implementing any forward motion. Since that has deteriorated, I think it's my opportunity to wriggle my way out of here and upward. I still don't know what I want to do with my life but I think I have enough skill to do a clerical job and if I can get my hands on one that pays more than I'm currently being compensated, then I'm going to close my eyes and whisper to myself 'you deserve more' and click to send that resume.

I honestly do think I deserve more but I'm just scared to go get it because in reality I don't NEED more, but the higher reality on that is that things will be much better/easier for me if I do this now. More money isn't necessary, but it's best for me to get it now and save it up so whenever I do find an opportunity to get a house (why the hell is that my huge goal now? I'm sure it's irritating Stuart), I will have the means to do so instead of hanging my head and saying "If only..."

Igor Spectre is starting their 10-yr anniversary tour thingy. It's so nuts to know that I've been following them for about 8 of those years. I think I'm going to be bold and ask my boss for all of those days off. What could it hurt? Besides me getting less of a paycheck and eating up the teeny bit of vacation time I actually have. But I think I should do it. Follow 'my' band and enjoy it and not worry my eyeballs out that work won't get done without me. That's what always held me back from doing anything in the past. But now, the company is so eager to spread work across more people... sure, let the Sun or some other employee do my job so I can enjoy myself. I don't know how many employees out there think like I do. "If I go on vacation everyone else will have so much to do, I just can't leave." I gotta stop thinking that way. I don't want to be 40yrs old with 2 months of vacation time racked up because I was so busy worrying about things getting done. The thread and guild I run on Gaia has sort of showed me that I'm a control freak. Everything is organized just so and I get plenty of people who ask if they can help and I just can't see myself allowing that because things have to be done 'just so.'

So, back to Igor Spectre:
JUNE 26 - Shamrock's, Chino Hills (secret show)
JULY 10 - Bar Sinister, Hollywood
JULY 23 - The Double Down Saloon, Las Vegas
AUGUST 13 - Beauty Bar, Las Vegas
SEPTEMBER 15 - House of Blues, Anaheim

If you want more info feel free to contact me.